A few months ago, I attended a group discussion panel that touched on the topic of co-habitating. Now, with a room full of people, this made for some really juicy and heated opinions. People commented in areas that ranged from my partner isn't good with money, she can't cook, I have to know if the sex is good, how clean can he/she keep a house, will I be able to look at this person every time I come home, etc. In this blog, I am going to state my opinion on why I think co-habitating IS NOT a bad idea.
First, let me start off by saying that I am a "co-habitator". My now husband and I lived together throughout most of our relationship before we we got hitched. Although some people see this as leaving nothing to look forward to, I believe in the contrary. In today's society,. divorce is at an all-time high. Many of the reasons people get divorced is because they get married not knowing exactly what it is they are getting in to. Before my husband and I said our "I do's", we knew exactly what pushed each others buttons, and what our expectations were. I have lots of confidence in the survival of my marriage solely on the fact that I know him and he knows me.
I pose this scenario to you: What if you get married without ever living together. After being into the marriage for 6 months, you realize your wife is a terrible cook, she doesn't keep a clean house, your husband snores like a train, urinates all over the toilet, one partner is bad with money, and the wife has mood swings 4 out of the 7 days a week? Is love enough to withstand all of these technical difficulities?
How many times have you heard someone say they are with a person because of love? Too many right? This, is the wrong reason to get married or be someone period. I got married partially for love, however, the remainder of the reason is because of security, trust, beliefs, stability, etc. There are several other reasons to be with someone outside of love, but love alone is not enough. This brings me back to co-habitating. Now, should you live with every boyfriend you ever had? NO!! However, someone that you see the potential in possibly marrying and building a future with...maybe. Think of it as test driving that expensive BMW before you buy it. You're not going to make that kind of investment in a car before you know its the one you want...the same goes for a mate. In order to know and understand that this is the person you want to be with forever, there must be a test drive.
I know there are several religious beliefs that believe that this is wrong, but the bible doesn't say you can't live together; the bible says no sex before marriage. Now living together may make this more of a challenge, but it all depends on your beliefs. Let me get one thing straight before leaving you, I am not an activist on getting people to live together before marriage. This is my opinion and I want to hear your opinions on why or why not this is a good or bad idea. Many people have many beliefs, and it is interesting to hear the justification behind those beliefs.
